A Christmas Story: Abridged

This wilfully obtuse chauvinist abuses his family in a quaintly droll manner. The end.

See it? Only if you threaten to wash my mouth out with soap, beat me with a belt, or play it 24 hours a day on all cable stations for a week. F

Gone With the Wind: Abridged

This Southern chick has relationship issues... and so does the country. Still, she dresses really well. The end.

See it? For 224 minues of shadenfreude toward the rich and beautiful. A-

Movie-Mini: New Moon

This girl has a vampire boyfriend, but then he breaks up with her. She realizes that she has no personality and gets depressed. Then she kind of starts going out with a werewolf, but she doesn't know he's a werewolf until she finds out. Then the vampire comes back, and they get engaged. The end.

See it? Only if all of the seasons of Buffy are checked out. C