Heifering About: Inserting Oneself Into Situations In Which Ones Does Not Belong

Here are some things NOT to do at a Quaker meeting:

1. Arrive late, wearing long, jangling, yet devastatingly hip jewelry.
2. Ask someone what you missed.
3. Take out and read a Left Behind novel.
4. Read sections of said novel aloud...
5. directing pointed looks at the lady in clogs across the way.
6. Try to bum any of the following: cigarette, investments in your new start-up, information about when the plane is supposed to board.
7. Slurp, snort, or sniff anything, including your neighbor.
8. Sigh conspicuously.
9. Kick the back of the seat in front of you.
10. Introduce yourself and explain how long you have been an alcoholic.

Take my word for it.