Heifering About: Inserting Oneself Into Situations In Which Ones Does Not Belong

Here are some things NOT to do at a Quaker meeting:

1. Arrive late, wearing long, jangling, yet devastatingly hip jewelry.
2. Ask someone what you missed.
3. Take out and read a Left Behind novel.
4. Read sections of said novel aloud...
5. directing pointed looks at the lady in clogs across the way.
6. Try to bum any of the following: cigarette, investments in your new start-up, information about when the plane is supposed to board.
7. Slurp, snort, or sniff anything, including your neighbor.
8. Sigh conspicuously.
9. Kick the back of the seat in front of you.
10. Introduce yourself and explain how long you have been an alcoholic.

Take my word for it.

High Society: Abridged

Grace goes on a bender in musical comedy form and is a better Hepburn than Hepburn... either of them.

See it? Only every day, while you're planning your ascent to stardom and your cultural takeover of a minor principality. A+ INFINITY!

In the News: That Kid Who Sniffed Glue

From the New York Times Home and Garden section: "'I like gluing things to other things,' Mr. Hart said, by now stating the obvious."



Against my will, I'm enchanted by this family and their giant stiletto-shoe-fainting-couch. Momma's an evangelist/recording artist who "named her furs after her husband's girlfriends." Son, who dresses like a cowboy and apparently glue guns everything in sight, "showed a talent for ornamentation at a very early age. Stuck in the family’s trailer, he began decorating his mother’s shoes with pearls. In his early teens, he adorned shoes for Ginger Rogers, Debbie Reynolds and Dolly Parton." Sounds to me like we have all the makings of Grey Gardens: Vegas Nights (the sequel).

The best part is that you can rent out their house for weddings, dog shows, bar mitzvahs, what have you. What better contribution to make to the plans of your bridezilla roommate?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/25/garden/25wedding.html

Up in the Air: Abridged

A young kid with a dream meets a prickly yet charming guy, and together, they drive as many people to suicide as possible, learning things about life, love, and empty symbols of social status along the way.

See it? Sure! It'll make you feel so morally superior to businesspeople that you will be able to feel a condescending sort of compassion for them and their perfectly-cut suits that just happen to subtly complement both their eyes and the upholstery around them. You'll be closer to enlightenment.
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