Strunk and White, Aristotle, and The Bachelor

I watched The Bachlor season finale last night, having never seen the show before. Normally, I avoid reality shows as doggedly as I avoid reality. Though I didn't expect to enjoy the episode, I was pleasantly surprised by the hours of self-satisfied gloating that it afforded me when I reflected upon the following statements:

"There isn't a doubt in my mind..."

The bachelor, his family, and both of the bachelorettes said this several times. While it may be more emphatic than a simple "I have no doubt," it is redundant. Where else does one keep doubts but in one's mind? This obscenely violates Strunk and White's Rule #13: "Omit needless words," and its redundancy was compounded by repetitive use throughout the show. Furthermore, it's annoying... like when people say "irregardless."

"I know my wife is here, but I still don't know which woman is right for me."

This presents an obvious logical fallacy:

Argument of Well-Balanced Person: I would like to be married to a woman. The right woman for me is here. Therefore, I will marry a woman who is here.

Argument of Mad Bachelor: I would like to be married to a woman. There are several women here. Therefore, I will marry a woman who is here.

Heifer's Solution: If you don't know which woman to marry, DON'T GET MARRIED!!! Same rule applies to other issues of import such as the selection of puppies and handbags.